Funny Jokes

Prospective Employer to Applicant: " So why did you leave your previous job?"
Applicant: " The company relocated and they did not tell me where!"
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Wife: " Sir, I would like to call on my husband who left me and brought all
our five kids with him."
Radio Host: " Ok, go ahead!"
Wife: " Sweetheart, please return back all the kids, actually only one of
them is yours."
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Hello! I'm here again. My mind is all muddlled up. I just want to
ask something. I know that you will be able to help me out.
Is BIRDS FLU the past tense of BIRDS FLY?
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You were riding a bus, when you suddenly fart. Luckily the music is
very loud. Every time you farted, you timed i t with the music.
When you were going down the bus, everybody were throwing dagger
looks at you, and you suddenly realized . . . . . that you have your MP3
player on your ears!
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WIFE: It's a miracle! You came home early.
HUSBAND: I just obeyed what my boss told me to do. He said: "GO TO HELL",
that's why I came home early.
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1st night grandma wore a see-thru dress, grandpa didn't react...
2nd night grandma wore t-back, grandpa still didn't react...
3rd night grandma all naked, grandpa said "what is that you are
wearing, it's all crumpled!!"
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John: it's my wife's birthday
Peter: what's your gift to her?
John: i asked her what she wanted
Peter: what did she said?
J: anything, as long as there is a DIAMOND.
P: what did you gave her?
J: playing cards

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